9 June 2011, 3:15 am
So my friend wants some advice on location ideas for her wedding. Her fiance and 85% of his family live in Fair port NY or Rochester NY. Her family lives in Spring Valley NY which is 5-6 hours away from each other. However, my friend is also part of the Indian community which means she has to invite a lot of Indian families to stick to Indian tradition and if done otherwise, it is very looked down upon. She would cause a lot of trouble; not as a person, just by not doing the "right" thing. Usually an Indian wedding can host about 450-560 people and that is a small number if the both bride and the groom know most of the guests together. And since her fiance is not Indian, she is already have many people not come to her wedding because they are Indian and "weird" and not like that she is marrying out of her race. So she has a lot of people to invite and she doesn't know where to hold it. So she has many options. Can you guys help me help her? Its a hard decision for her. She can hurt or offend a lot of people and be okay with being shunned from her Indian church (she would already be pushed away for marrying someone not Indian, like no one would talk to her as much) and have an intimate ceremony with people she loves. Sad thing this marriage is important for her parents to invite the Indian families and they'll be shunned too if they don't cause they didn't "advise" their daughter. Or she can invite everyone and try and make everyone happy on her wedding. And I know this is not the choice most of you won't pick but this is important for Indian parents for their daughter's wedding. So she can either 1. Have the wedding at his grandparents house who have acres of land that is flat and beautiful in Rochester where she can have the ceremony and the reception at the same place and have a choice between an intimate ceremony/large reception or a large ceremony/large reception. She would have to ask dozens of Indian families to drive six hours or take a $140-$200 2 hour max plane ride to the wedding and either leave that day or stay at a hotel (which I don't know if she should pay for if it would be over 100 families worth of rooms or pay for the airline tickets) and leave after a few days. And pay for guest shuttle to the wedding. (If you choose this choice, you have to also choose between intimate ceremony or large ceremony and why) 2. Have the wedding at her city where most of her guests are. However, she would have to pay for reception and ceremony sites as well as transportation. However, the sites here are never very beautiful or flexible but it would ask her fiance's grandparents to travel here (his grandparents are the only ones alive in both families). 3. Have the wedding in the middle of the two locations, pay for reception and ceremony sites, won't have pay for shuttles for guests but pay for hotel rooms for bridal party and family. The location would be equal distance from either Rochester and Spring Valley but guests would have to drive at least 3 hours not including rest stops and would then be asked to drive again from ceremony to reception after standing at the ceremony but wouldn't drink a lot at the reception or have fun because they have a three hour drive to head back. Not many people would attend because a flight would be easier than a drive. It would make it way for both families though because that way one family's guests aren't suffering in travel expenses and the other isn't. This would require a lot of work though when it comes to always drive 3 hours to check out reception sites and ceremony sites and bakeries and caterers that are close by, waiters, staff, DJ, bands, anything close for the ceremony. What should she do? And how many should be invited per acre of land? Please give good answers, and do you think she should send everything earlier than normal? Like instead of 6 months ahead for save the dates and 8 weeks for invitations, maybe 9 months save the date cards and send the invitations two months ahead? She thinks since she was a two year engagement because she doesn't want to offend anyone and try not to hurt her parent's feelings. She doesn't want to cause trouble and try her best to help people.... Read More »
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